That Widow

Day 14, 2 weeks, 336 hours without him. In some ways I’m still waiting for him to come home. It’s almost like he’s been away for work or on a hunting trip, not dead. It’s weird knowing he’s going forever but still hoping he’ll just walk in the door.

I was productive today with calling multiple companies and starting the process of ending his accounts. I’m not the proud owner of an IRA and deferred compensation accounts. No idea what to do with them but the one account has a 10 year time clock on it to figure out what to do. I hope I can manage to figure it out by then lol

The question I hate the most today is when they ask if I know what type of account it is and when I reply no they think I’m an idiot. I’m not an idiot it’s just his beautiful mind only worked in a way that he understood. I’ve only ever had a checking account, a savings account, and one paid off credit card. He has so many accounts that I am overwhelmed on where to even begin. It’s a mess but it’s now my mess to try and sort through.

My oldest had a lashing tongue towards me tonight and it happened twice in a 10 minute timeframe. I had to remind him that I am his only parent now so he should probably think about the way he talks to me. He quickly changed his tune.

On day 14 I officially became the owner of my husband’s service weapon. It took me some time to process through all of the feels but what an honor and testament to the man that he was. Day 14 was hard for many different reason but I made it through.