That Widow

Day 25, the house that built me. The song reminds me of him because while he wasn’t a house he did build me from where I was when we met over 12 years ago into who I am now. I also found the original fire stick remote that we had been searching for and ended up buying a whole new fire stick and I’m sure he laughed his ass off at me.

I’m working on tattoos and thinking about what I want and where I want it. I’m trying to get his last ekg they did when he was going into vtach but still talking and acting like nothing was wrong. Oh that man. I have some other things I want like his thumb print on my wrist and his last signature he signed on a check for me.

His mom came over to watch 3 of the boys while I went to the dentist today, before the insurance stops and until I can get that piece squared away. She told me I was doing a wonderful job and you know I feel like I’m drowning most of the time but I guess I’m not going half bad.

I was looking at taking the boys away somewhere and renting a place. I’m debating on going during spring break, our wedding anniversary, or his birthday/Father’s Day. I know all of them are going to hurt but I haven’t decided which is going to hurt the most yet.

Day 25 and I’m stuck deciding which future date is going to hurt the most. It’s probably none of the above mentioned but in reality will probably be our youngest’s 1st birthday. Only time will tell.