That Widow

Day 40 and we had our first football games.

They had to play at the same time as they changed the schedule so I sat between the 2 fields so I could watch some of both. It’s not like I had my husband to switch out with midway through so we could each take a turn watching one or the other. I did it though. I got everyone there on time, dressed appropriately, we even had picture day.

I talked to my mother-in-law about how my FIL was putting way too much pressure on me due to his checklist. I just told her that it’s not up to them. He may have been a son, a brother, an uncle, a friend, all of the things but first and foremost he was my husband and father to my children. The day we got married is the day that I took over from them. Not only that I don’t want to be forced to decide on things that will be a rash decision that will ultimately not be what I want and that’s not fair either. She agreed and said she would tell him to back off of me. I’m keeping the essentials going for right now like a roof over our heads, food in our kitchen and bellies, insurance for all, you know the things that have to be figured out right this second.

Day 40 and it’s so hard and exhausting taking care of others feelings over my kids’ and my own, you process your households grief and I’ll take care of my household.