That Widow

Day 41 it’s been 6 weeks, 1008 hours, that he’s been gone.

It feels like a lifetime already that he’s been gone. I heard the Foo Fighters song Everlong and just the opening of “hello, I’ve waited here for you, everlong”, I imagine my husband saying this to me when we finally get together again. Dave Grohl said the song is about being so connected with someone that not only do you love them spiritually and physically but then when you sing together it’s a perfect harmony. Isn’t that what love, marriage, and life is supposed to be like when you’re with your person? I still feel connected to him, especially when looking at our boys, but I can’t wait until we are together again, just to have our presence together again. For that perfect feeling, the feeling of being complete again. While I certainly don’t want to rush the time I have with my boys I still long for that completed feeling too.

Day 41 it’s been 1008 hours of just beginning that incomplete feeling “until we meet again”, as he said in his voice recording to me.