That Widow

Day 61 and we took the day off for the kids to be sick, watch football, and eat pizza.

All of the kids are sick still and not seeming to get better yet. I know viruses take forever but the kids are just worn out from them. I decided against them playing football today and not one of them complained about it. They were happy to lay on the couch and just relax.

I’m feeling a little worn down myself so I have some vitamin c boosters being delivered tomorrow to try and help me stay as healthy as I can. I also increased my water intake and had some soup this evening. It’s hard feeling like junk but still having to do everything between the kids and house and just ugh. I looked at the living room with blankets everywhere and some toys and there’s only me to pick it all up, so I did. I looked at the sink with dishes and there’s only me to get those in the dishwasher load and unload, so I did. There’s a basket full of clean clothes to go upstairs, so I did. There’s only me. It’s overwhelming. It’s heartbreaking, it’s panic inducing, it’s just so much. To think this is my life now for years, and years, and years. That’s exhausting just thinking about it.

Day 61 and thinking about the years ahead and I’m already tired.