That Widow

Day 83 and he’s been gone 12 weeks, 84 days, 2016 hours, 120960 minutes, 7257600 seconds.

The time he’s been gone never gets easier. I’m still amazed that he has seriously been gone this long. Weren’t we just laughing about his entrance song when he was coming into our bedroom? Weren’t we just holding hands? Weren’t we just planning school schedules and chemo appointments? Weren’t we just….

The answer is no, we weren’t just anything because he’s been gone for 12 weeks. 12 weeks and still not any easier. 12 weeks and I still struggle to talk about him with everyone but the kids. 12 weeks and I still want to keep him all to our little family of 8. 12 weeks and he’s still in the ground.

Day 83 and it just fucking sucks.