That Widow

Day 85 and we went to the trunk or treat.

The last time that we had gone to this trunk or treat it was inside and he walked around with the older boys while I kept watch with the younger ones in the stroller from the center of the room. We showed up and I was prepared for it to be inside and I could just keep all of the boys contained, I had this! I did not have this. It was outside. It was freezing cold. It was still trying to rain. I seriously thought about just going back home. If he was alive I know he would have said “fuck this, we’re going home” but then we would have taken our teamwork approach with one staying in the van with the younger ones while the other took the older ones out. He’s not here, the kids wanted to do it, so I made it work.

Day 85 and I wrapped the kids in blankets, pulled up my big girl pants, and we got that candy they wanted.