That Widow

Day 119 and it’s the time has come

Today I went in for my appointment to start the process of getting the headstone made. It’s a joint headstone so THAT’S creepy. Let’s start from the beginning. I go in and the man was soooo extremely nice, which was a plus, but the showroom was blah boring. Everything about the place screamed boring. I get it, most people are old when they die so who really cares, at least that’s how I feel about it. When you die and you’re 40 and 5 out of your 6 kids won’t truly remember you that’s an issue. So I tell the man, all of this is boring, cemeteries are boring, I need pizzazz. I need something for my boys to enjoy coming to. I need life in a stone. I’ve been to many cemeteries as of late like TLC singing Creep, I’m a cemetery troll seeing what I like and don’t like. It’s hard picking something like this out when you’re 35.

The man helped me though and it will be big, it will have pictures, it will include our boys, it is fucking EXPENSIVE! Things you don’t truly put monetary value on holy guacamole. Then the man says “the engraving is included” well I sure as hell hope so cause that’s $10,000 I’m never getting back. And then the low blow, he tells me the cemetery likes to see at least 1 religious symbol on the stone somewhere. I said well God and I aren’t on the best of terms right now so that’s going to be a problem for me. Is it not enough that we have paid them for the plot, paid them for the burial, and now phi g for the headstone…Jesus be a tax man because he keeps holding out his hand for more these days. Nothing gets poured or started until the spring but you bet your sweet ass they wanted half the payment now.

Day 119 and no lie they cashed that check not even 2 hours later.