That Widow

Day 133 and I ate some emotions.

Man o man have I ate some emotions today. I fully accept that I did it. I take ownership that my feelings were overwhelming. I did my workout this morning but I also ate lots of homemade cookies and icing. I enjoyed the sweets and acknowledged that while not the healthiest choice it was my choice to make and I don’t feel an ounce of guilt for it.

It sucks having to get Christmas ready alone. All these jobs that used to be my husbands to get ready now all fall on me and it’s stressful. I can easily get distracted by him not being here and I could drown in the sorrow but I have to keep going. I have to keep doing the next task and then the next so that the boys get the best Christmas they can. It’s not about me, it never has been. Everything is for them.

Day 133 and some day I might get my piece.