That Widow

Day 144 and it’s a mind game.

Do you ever trick yourself into doing something because “it’s not that long”? When I started working out that was something I really focused on because I needed it to keep going. I could do anything for 20-40 seconds at a time with a 10-20 second break after. I could push myself those last few seconds when it was the hardest because it wasn’t that long. That really got me through those first few months when I was struggling. That’s not to say I don’t still struggle but those first couple of months were rough. I had to shut my brain off from all of the thinking I was doing about my husband and his treatments and what if he died, what would we do? I’m on the other side of that but still have hard workout days.

This morning I wasn’t really feeling getting started. I know the first step is to get dressed and strap my Peloton shoes on. That’s the hardest. After that I figure I’ve made it this far might as well keep going. I looked at the list of classes and was like blah, 30 minutes is too much, 20 minutes sounds awful, oh look at that! A 15 minute climb ride, I can do that! It’s short and gets a lot of bang for my buck. Then I figured I’d better do a 5 minute warm up class. The climb ride I was like why am I doing this again? This is hard! Then I’m like he said 30 seconds of a heavy push, I got this! And I did it all. I felt great after I finished it. I got done with that then went right into my YouTube workout and got that checked off the list for the day too!

Day 144 and I can do hard things…for 20-40 seconds at a time.