Category: Uncategorized
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Day 19
Day 19 we celebrated the oldest’s birthday at the ballpark with a suite! It have video games and all kinds of food. Friends and family came to celebrate and it was a good time. Bittersweet but still a good time. I feel like everyone is waiting for me to crack and just jump off a…
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Day 18
Day 18 and I made it through the first few days of school. Granted the oldest was the only one to go for the 3 days it was still kind of a routine of getting up and getting our day started. I’m struggling with others being so flamboyant and attention seeking in their “grief”. While…
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Day 17
Day 17 I felt terrible because I couldn’t walk our kindergartner into his first day of school. I had to many others in the van to be able to leave them to take him. He still ended up having a great day but it was hurtful to me. Going through clothes tonight to try and…
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Day 16
Day 16 was the first day of school for 3 of the 4 going this year and I just smiled through the tears. A mom walked up to me and asked if I was eating because I was looking real thin. I’m like yep, I’m also still breastfeeding, and chasing my 6 children alone now.…
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Day 15
Day 15 is the night before a new school year starts. 4 of the boys will be going this year and I’m sad. I’m sad he’s missing this. I’m sad he chose to miss this. I’m sad my kids only have me to do everything for them. I’m sad that they’ll only have old pictures…
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Day 14
Day 14, 2 weeks, 336 hours without him. In some ways I’m still waiting for him to come home. It’s almost like he’s been away for work or on a hunting trip, not dead. It’s weird knowing he’s going forever but still hoping he’ll just walk in the door. I was productive today with calling…
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Day 13
Today, day 13, we went to his grave, we now refer to it as his “condo”, and our second son asked what he, his dad, was doing there. I had to explain that his body was buried in the ground but his spirit would always be with us and around us. He’s 5 so he…
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Day 12
On Day 12 I was explaining to the service department at the dealership that they will now have to call or text me for everything. Of course they asked why and I had to tell them because he died and they said well that happened really suddenly you were in here not too long ago.…
That Widow 