Tag: fuck off
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Day 135
Day 135 and it’s taken years to get to this point. I’ve been noticing that I’m not obsessed with the scale these days. I for years I have weighed myself a lot, more than I would like to admit. It was a wake up and weigh and then maybe later in the day I would…
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Day 134
Day 134 and taking deep breaths. I don’t understand how others around me can just ignore that he died. I don’t understand how they expect myself and my kids to just move on and continue like it never happened or that it happened awhile ago. Even if it did happen years ago that doesn’t take…
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Day 125
Day 125 and can we just not? Thanks. Can we normalize older people not asking questions about your appearance? It’s not so much the appearance but how they’re asking a rude question but making it seem like they care. For example; “have you been getting enough sleep?…because you have bags under your eyes.” “Ave you…
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Day 123
Day 123 and I didn’t even want to make them. My mother-in-law has refused to open the Christmas cards I made this year. She needs to prepare herself. What? As if it was easy for me to make them? I wanted ti say fuck it as I cried looking at the pictures. While I had…
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Day 92
Day 92 and everyone gets shots! Well everyone but number 5 because he got his last week. The kids all got their flu shots for the season and I got my updated covid vaccine as I got my flu shot last week too. The oldest had to be held down by me which is getting…
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Day 86
Day 86 and it just never ends. Nothing like going to the basement for something random to find a leaking pipe…on your clothes totes. I don’t know how to fix these things! This is when I would have called him and he would have fixed it or known who to call to fix it. I…
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Day 59
Day 59 and I hate asking others to sit with my kids even if they are their grandparents. I had to ask my mother-in-law to sit with some of the boys twice this week as other had appointments and it’s just a pain. People want to “help” or always say “let me know what I…
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Day 55
Day 55 and it’s been 8 weeks, 56 days, 1344 hours without him. It hasn’t gotten easier. I keep repeating that it has to get easier it has to…so far it hasn’t. It’s not hard taking care of the boys, mentally exhausting? Yes, but not hard. It’s hard being without him. It’s hard knowing that…
That Widow 