Tag: kids

• Day 147

  Day 147 and I still find myself apologizing. I find that I’m still apologizing to my kids for them not having their dad. A lot of the time it’s in my mind but it’s still happening. I know I shouldn’t feel the burden of fault because I didn’t do anything but I think it’s just…

  That Widow

  January 8, 2023

  Uncategorized

  1 widow, 6 boys, filling the void, grief, just love them, kids, lots of feelings, miss him, no apology necessary, ope, still gone, thatwidow

• Day 146

  Day 146 and another learning curve. Report cards came out for the boys and they all got honor roll! I mean I don’t know how you get honor roll as opposed to not in preschool but they all got it. Super proud of all of them and glad to see that they’re adjusted and making…

  That Widow

  January 7, 2023

  Uncategorized

  1 widow, 6 boys, adjusting, condo, each other, honor roll, hurts, kids, lots of feelings, miss him, not supposed to be this way, surviving, thatwidow, yell out the window

• Day 143

  Day 143 and that went up in flames. I was able to get the oldest into his regular dentist office but not with our usual dentist just another one in the practice. I took all of the boys with me and had them in our quad stroller with the baby strapped to my chest. Let…

  That Widow

  January 4, 2023

  Uncategorized

  1 widow, 6 boys, deep breaths, dentist, hurts, kids, maybe you should stay at home next time, nasty people, shitty comments, thatwidow, up in flames

• Day 142

  Day 142 and it’s just another wonderful day in the neighborhood. It wouldn’t be another day in my life if something wasn’t happening! Did some returns today and had to pick up a new gate for the stairs because the boys keep taking our current one off the hinges. Get everything done and get home…

  That Widow

  January 3, 2023

  Uncategorized

  1 widow, 6 boys, always something, can’t make this stuff up, dentist, kids, miss him, thatwidow, tin can, why

• Day 140

  Day 140 and the school will probably be calling again lol Life as a #BoyMom is nothing less than crazyentertainingfrathousemasculinemadness. Yep, all of that in one with a heaping side of devoted love for their Momma. It is hard but extremely worth it, I’m sure a lot of parents would agree no matter the number…

  That Widow

  January 1, 2023

  Uncategorized

  1 widow, 6 boys, because he’s alive, BoyMomma, crazy boys, debatable, frat house, haymakers, kids, mess you up, never a dull moment, phone calls, pointing or fuck you, school, surviving, thatwidow

• Day 138

  Day 138 and sometimes it is crippling. There are times when this overwhelming, crippling sadness just washes over me. I’ll be watching the kids do something and I’ll smile along but then I’ll think how I wish he was here to see it. That’s when it hits me like a tidal wave that he’s gone…

  That Widow

  December 30, 2022

  Uncategorized

  1 widow, 6 boys, crying, grief, hurts, just me, just sad, kids, lots of feelings, miss him, not supposed to be this way, surviving, thatwidow, time

• Day 134

  Day 134 and taking deep breaths. I don’t understand how others around me can just ignore that he died. I don’t understand how they expect myself and my kids to just move on and continue like it never happened or that it happened awhile ago. Even if it did happen years ago that doesn’t take…

  That Widow

  December 26, 2022

  Uncategorized

  1 widow, 6 boys, Christmas, comfort level, fuck off, grief, hurts, kids, lots of feelings, miss him, my kids are all that matter, selfish, shitty people, suffering enough, thatwidow, we decide, why

• Day 133

  Day 133 and I ate some emotions. Man o man have I ate some emotions today. I fully accept that I did it. I take ownership that my feelings were overwhelming. I did my workout this morning but I also ate lots of homemade cookies and icing. I enjoyed the sweets and acknowledged that while…

  That Widow

  December 25, 2022

  Uncategorized

  1 widow, 6 boys, all for them, can’t breathe, Christmas, consistency, existing, grief, holidays, hurts, just me, just sad, kids, lots of feelings, miss him, not supposed to be this way, some day maybe for me, surviving, thatwidow, weight loss

• Day 131

  Day 131 and whowee she got me in the feels. One of my husband’s sisters came over with my 4 nieces and nephew to exchange Christmas gifts. The kids do a gift exchange from each other and they have so much fun picking things out and they love to see the others face when they…

  That Widow

  December 23, 2022

  Uncategorized

  1 widow, 6 boys, Christmas, crying, gift exchange, gift of time, holidays, kids, lots of feelings, miss him, she got me, stand in godparent, surviving, thatwidow

• Day 129

  Day 129 and that opened a whole can of worms. My sister-in-law was asking about Christmas and if we were coming, short answer no. She then asked if it was because I didn’t want to be around extended family or my mother-in-law because she would be weepy. I said it’s that and so much more.…

  That Widow

  December 21, 2022

  Uncategorized

  1 widow, 6 boys, Christmas, grief, hurts, just sad, kids, lots of feelings, miss him, not supposed to be this way, not what you want, suffering, thatwidow, unit, what we need