Tag: lots of feelings
-
Day 134
Day 134 and taking deep breaths. I don’t understand how others around me can just ignore that he died. I don’t understand how they expect myself and my kids to just move on and continue like it never happened or that it happened awhile ago. Even if it did happen years ago that doesn’t take…
-
Day 133
Day 133 and I ate some emotions. Man o man have I ate some emotions today. I fully accept that I did it. I take ownership that my feelings were overwhelming. I did my workout this morning but I also ate lots of homemade cookies and icing. I enjoyed the sweets and acknowledged that while…
-
Day 129
Day 129 and that opened a whole can of worms. My sister-in-law was asking about Christmas and if we were coming, short answer no. She then asked if it was because I didn’t want to be around extended family or my mother-in-law because she would be weepy. I said it’s that and so much more.…
-
Day 123
Day 123 and I didn’t even want to make them. My mother-in-law has refused to open the Christmas cards I made this year. She needs to prepare herself. What? As if it was easy for me to make them? I wanted ti say fuck it as I cried looking at the pictures. While I had…
-
Day 119
Day 119 and it’s the time has come Today I went in for my appointment to start the process of getting the headstone made. It’s a joint headstone so THAT’S creepy. Let’s start from the beginning. I go in and the man was soooo extremely nice, which was a plus, but the showroom was blah…
-
Day 118
Day 118 and I’m going to do it. I made a list of places that I either need to call or go to so that I can get some things handled. I’m terrible when it comes to talking to people, especially a business. I’m just not motivated to speak to others. It’s exhausting navigating social…
-
Day 114
Day 114 and I’m not big on turkey. It’s thanksgiving and I’m thankful for my kids. They keep me going, they keep me waking up for tomorrow. Today’s surprise was a cake that had a scene of 8 dinosaurs eating thanksgiving dinner at a table. I told them to sign it from their dad and…
-
Day 112
Day 112 and it’s the last day of school for the week. The oldest keeps asking if I’m happy for this thing or that thing and it’s hard to explain that no, I’m not really happy. I’m just pushing through each day and trying my best for them. If they’re happy that’s what matters to…
That Widow 