Tag: lots of feelings
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Day 104
Day 104 and it’s a shrine Have you ever looked at your surroundings where you live and really thought about how it’s a shrine to your life? As I’m jogging in place I’m looking at all of the pictures, degrees, memorabilia, extended family photos, and I’m just thinking how this is a shrine. We put…
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Day 103
Day 103 and it’s parade day. I had an organization contact me about my husband and they wanted to do a parade in his honor and present myself, and our children, with a check to help with minor expenses. This has been in the works for 2 months now and the day finally came. I…
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Day 101
Day 101 and they’re leaving too. My brother called me a couple of weeks ago to let me know my sister-in-law might be taking a new job a few states away. Gut. Punch. I cried but told him I was proud of him for making himself uncomfortable for her to get to her next goal.…
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Day 98
Day 98 and here comes another diagnosis. Welp number 2 got diagnosed with ADHD and we met with a doctor today to discuss options. My husband also had ADHD and was on medication until he graduated high school. It is very typical to be associated with autism and so I knew that it was a…
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Day 97
Day 97 and I’m done fucking counting because it’s not helping. I know it’s another week without him. I know time is still passing, and I know how much time has passed, I’m just done fucking recording it. Those thoughts are not serving me in a productive manner so I’m letting it go. Again, I…
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Day 80
Day 80 and I’m trying to set boundaries. His family asked if I wanted to go on a Christmas train ride with my boys. To most this sounds cute and like a good time, to me that sounds like hell trapped in a train car with 6 boys by myself. Yes, they would be there,…
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Day 74
Day 74 and it was a tough wedding. Today I went to my first wedding since my husband died. It was tough. I cried. I left right after the ceremony. I showed up. It was for a friend of my husband and I and it was beautiful. They had a picture of my husband on…
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Day 69
Day 69 and it’s been 10 weeks, 70 days, 1680 hours since he’s been gone. I’ve been thinking about our marriage a lot lately. Our whole relationship really. There were obvious bad parts, obvious struggles. Some I’ve explained here and how they changed who I am as a person. Will I ever be quick to…
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Day 67
Day 67 and I went to another cemetery. I got up and got my ride in on the Peloton and then got the boys breakfast. I had some errands I wanted to run and I had to go see my dad. I try to make it to my dad’s cemetery at least 5 to 6…
That Widow 