Tag: not supposed to be this way
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Day 119
Day 119 and it’s the time has come Today I went in for my appointment to start the process of getting the headstone made. It’s a joint headstone so THAT’S creepy. Let’s start from the beginning. I go in and the man was soooo extremely nice, which was a plus, but the showroom was blah…
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Day 118
Day 118 and I’m going to do it. I made a list of places that I either need to call or go to so that I can get some things handled. I’m terrible when it comes to talking to people, especially a business. I’m just not motivated to speak to others. It’s exhausting navigating social…
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Day 114
Day 114 and I’m not big on turkey. It’s thanksgiving and I’m thankful for my kids. They keep me going, they keep me waking up for tomorrow. Today’s surprise was a cake that had a scene of 8 dinosaurs eating thanksgiving dinner at a table. I told them to sign it from their dad and…
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Day 113
Day 113 and we got the errands done. Today we did some running around. We went and picked up the surprise from our favorite bakery for tomorrow. We didn’t do much of anything after going and get the errands done which only took a couple of hours. We stayed at home and I got my…
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Day 112
Day 112 and it’s the last day of school for the week. The oldest keeps asking if I’m happy for this thing or that thing and it’s hard to explain that no, I’m not really happy. I’m just pushing through each day and trying my best for them. If they’re happy that’s what matters to…
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Day 100
Day 100 and it was party day at pre-k Boys 3 and 4 had a fall party at school today. They had so much fun! I was bummed that I couldn’t volunteer like we usually do. I’ve sent my husband a couple of times and I’be gone a couple of times. It’s always so fun…
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Day 99
Day 99 and he made it! Sigh of relief, he made it through the school day. I gave #2 his first dose of medicine this morning and I was so worried about him. I let his IS and classroom teacher know so they could let me know of any problems. They let me know that…
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Day 97
Day 97 and I’m done fucking counting because it’s not helping. I know it’s another week without him. I know time is still passing, and I know how much time has passed, I’m just done fucking recording it. Those thoughts are not serving me in a productive manner so I’m letting it go. Again, I…
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Day 95
Day 95 and it’s the freakin’ weekend…so I’ve decided that the weekends kind of suck. I know, I know, it’s a nice break from the grind but the grind is what’s getting me through right now. When I was much younger, I think like most, the weekends were my playground even though I worked every…
That Widow 