Tag: not supposed to be this way
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Day 74
Day 74 and it was a tough wedding. Today I went to my first wedding since my husband died. It was tough. I cried. I left right after the ceremony. I showed up. It was for a friend of my husband and I and it was beautiful. They had a picture of my husband on…
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Day 64
Day 64 and I wish every decision wasn’t such an internal battle. The new van has arrived and the dealership is ready for me to come look at it and get a price for my current van. I am having this new van custom to what I want. It has everything I want. I am…
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Day 61
Day 61 and we took the day off for the kids to be sick, watch football, and eat pizza. All of the kids are sick still and not seeming to get better yet. I know viruses take forever but the kids are just worn out from them. I decided against them playing football today and…
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Day 60
Day 60 and he’s been gone for 2 months of forever. I noticed today that no one gives a shit that he’s been gone for 2 months. Why would anyone care? He was MY person. I chose him every day. They were given him as a son and brother but I chose him. I think…
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Day 59
Day 59 and I hate asking others to sit with my kids even if they are their grandparents. I had to ask my mother-in-law to sit with some of the boys twice this week as other had appointments and it’s just a pain. People want to “help” or always say “let me know what I…
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Day 49
Day 49 and I wished for my youngest to never grow up so he didn’t have to understand that his dad was gone. I’m both blessed and cursed that only my oldest truly knows what it means that his dad died. Eventually they’ll all know and it will be like a new trauma for them.…
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Day 47
Day 47 and it was full of football. All 3 older boys played at the same time…again. That makes at least 4 out of the 5 games they will do that. Ugh! So hard when it’s just me and he can’t be at one while I’m at the other and then switch. We just make…
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Day 45
Day 45 and I finally decided to get the new flooring done. I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal to some to get new flooring done but in our house it’s a HUGE deal. My husband is a penny pincher, OCD, spreadsheet loving, needs to think on it for at least 5 years…
That Widow 