Tag: why
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Day 67
Day 67 and I went to another cemetery. I got up and got my ride in on the Peloton and then got the boys breakfast. I had some errands I wanted to run and I had to go see my dad. I try to make it to my dad’s cemetery at least 5 to 6…
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Day 65
Day 65 and number 4 broke his arm and it’s my grandparents 60th wedding anniversary…yay (read sarcasm). Boy 4 is a Frank the Tank, he is built like a linebacker and does some crazy things. You would think he would have broken something sooner than his current 3 years of life. He tripped and fell…
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Day 63
Day 63 and I’m struggling with him being free and happy and me being the head of the ship being tossed around the waves. As children were taught heaven is this amazing place where everything is happy and perfect. The person who goes to heaven is made perfect, they have no worries, they’re the happiest…
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Day 52
Day 52 and both older boys are in trouble at school. The oldest was talking after repeated warnings, well I am his mother and every report card I’ve had said talks too much is class sooooo I can’t really be that mad. Obviously I’m going to tell him to be polite and zip it when…
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Day 48
Day 48 and it’s been 1,176 hours without you, without my partner, without the father to my babies. Today it feels like you’ve been gone forever but I’m still stuck in the same grief. I look at our kids and what they’re doing and I’m so sad that he’s missing everything. I know he’s still…
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Day 30
Day 30 and I have survived 1 month without him, 720 hours. My kids survived a month, 720 hours, without their dad. We survived, and I hate it. I hate that we have ever been put in this position to survive. Why did I start this blog? It’s a place for me to get my…
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Day 27
Day 27 and I got 3 of them to their football meet and greet on time and presentable. It was a win. I questioned today if I pushed him too hard? If I expected too much out of him? If I could have done something different? If I could have pushed to have him seen…
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Day 24
Day 24 and I was asked what I was doing with my husband’s car because another family member would like to have it if I wasn’t doing anything with it. This hurt. This hurt a lot. Why ask? I already told everyone that the car was paid off and my husband wanted it to go…
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Day 13
Today, day 13, we went to his grave, we now refer to it as his “condo”, and our second son asked what he, his dad, was doing there. I had to explain that his body was buried in the ground but his spirit would always be with us and around us. He’s 5 so he…