Tag: grief
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Day 65
Day 65 and number 4 broke his arm and it’s my grandparents 60th wedding anniversary…yay (read sarcasm). Boy 4 is a Frank the Tank, he is built like a linebacker and does some crazy things. You would think he would have broken something sooner than his current 3 years of life. He tripped and fell…
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Day 64
Day 64 and I wish every decision wasn’t such an internal battle. The new van has arrived and the dealership is ready for me to come look at it and get a price for my current van. I am having this new van custom to what I want. It has everything I want. I am…
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Day 63
Day 63 and I’m struggling with him being free and happy and me being the head of the ship being tossed around the waves. As children were taught heaven is this amazing place where everything is happy and perfect. The person who goes to heaven is made perfect, they have no worries, they’re the happiest…
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Day 60
Day 60 and he’s been gone for 2 months of forever. I noticed today that no one gives a shit that he’s been gone for 2 months. Why would anyone care? He was MY person. I chose him every day. They were given him as a son and brother but I chose him. I think…
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Day 50
Day 50 and I’m starting to lose the zell for life around me. I’m not looking forward to anything really. I’m not looking forward to the holidays or birthdays, definitely not anniversaries, just nothing. My mother-in-law said yesterday that had I died there would be no way her son could do what I am doing…
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Day 48
Day 48 and it’s been 1,176 hours without you, without my partner, without the father to my babies. Today it feels like you’ve been gone forever but I’m still stuck in the same grief. I look at our kids and what they’re doing and I’m so sad that he’s missing everything. I know he’s still…
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Day 46
Day 46 and 4 out of the 6 kids have colds. I knew it was coming last night when they started with the interrupted sleep patterns and then they didn’t get out of bed u til late. I knew it was coming I just didn’t want it to. I got his thumbprint necklace that I…
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Day 43
Day 43 and I’m back to clearing out my stuff. Seriously 20 pairs of jeans this round of all different sizes that I’m posting to get rid of. So much stuff. It doesn’t fit so instead of keeping it I’m getting rid of it. I donated 5 huge bags of clothes last week and I’m…
That Widow 